Took an "L" on that one.

Once again, just want to reiterate that I can't do this thing by myself.  Just when I forget that, God never fails to remind me :)  Yesterday was a less than stellar day.  However, because of this, I was able to connect with some parents of our children's ministry in ways that I wouldn't have (notice I said, "wouldn't" not "couldn't") if this incident didn't occur.  What's even more amazing is that I still am feeling down.

I don't get me.

I mean, why do I take things so personally?  Why is it that no matter what happens, whether big deal or not, it shakes the very foundations of reality for me and I get totally unglued?  Maybe I can answer that with a modern day parable.

Suppose you found the perfect spot on the beach to build a home.  Then lets just say that there are two guys who decide to build there because there is plenty of room to share and the first guy decides to build it himself.  He understands what is involved in building a house and what his should look like, (i mean come on, the guy has Google!), but he's not a contractor.  Heck, he doesn't have the first clue as to where to start.  However, if it can work with lincoln logs, then it can work with lumber and concrete.

The second guy actually hires someone who knows what they are doing when designing the house.  They take extra time to ask the guy what he wants in a beach house and is extra careful in designing just the right fit for him.  After the design is done, then the construction begins and before you know it, the second guy is moving into his dream beach house.  It didn't matter to the second guy how it got done, he just wanted it done right so he went to someone who knew how to do it right.

I guess the first guy is still probably trying to build his house today...and that is exactly what I have been doing.  Now, I'm not trying to be self-deprecating or anything like that, but I am confessing something here (forgive me father, its been 37 years since my last confession...). 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that in this orange journey, you can't hold on to things very tightly at all.  You have to be willing to let God take circumstances and situations and mold them into experiences that not only shape the ministry that He has given you, but you as well.  I'm sure as the second guy in my parable was watching the designer and construction people work, he had to be in awe at the preciseness and expertise of them all.  As God is designing this ministry, I am in awe.  I know when I have taken over...because that's when I start to see water coming into the house and windows not level and plumb.  Sorry Lord for getting in the way again.  Just keep moving me out of the way.

Its too quiet...

After getting my butt kicked, literally, by God the other day, I really feel good about the direction that the children's ministry is headed.  However, humility is something that I have had harsh lessons taught to me about.  I read something on relevant children's ministry's blog that touched me.  In our day of numbers and money, God isn't concerned about that.  No, really.  Its not about how big the church is or how many kids you take care of...its about you.  Yeah I said it.  Its about me!  Its all about me.  Let me clarify.

In going through this Orange journey, God has really confirmed me as his son.  I have began to press more and more into Him.  Small, baby steps, but we are like infants compared to Him so I think that's OK.  I, at times, feel like I'm walking through really thick mud, and other times, I feel like I'm floating on air.  However, in either instance, I'm walking.  I used to crawl, but now, I'm walking.  He is revealing His plan little by little to me for SCC's Children's Ministry and I can only hope to hang on for the ride.  He is in control, I am but a servant.  Right now, things are good.  So, how dare I call Him my Lord if I'm not willing to recognize Him in the good times and only cry out in the bad times.  So, thanks God, for allowing this time for me to simply have that holy unrest in my soul that tells me that you are in control and things are on the horizon.